They Walk Among Us

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Joe Ham
Posts: 489
Joined: Fri 27 Jul 2007 6:15
Location: New Mexico, USA

They Walk Among Us

Post by Joe Ham » Sat 15 Sep 2007 18:36

 
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."where?"

They Walk among us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" 
 When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

They Walk Among Us!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

They Walk Among Us!

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half pound sirloin. She informed me they only had an 8 ounce sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 8 ounce steak instead of the half-pounder.

They walk among us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!


My friends and I were on a Pepsi run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

They Walk Among Us!


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!


While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.


Yep, They Walk Among Us!


And they breed.

Martian
Posts: 1944
Joined: Thu 26 Jul 2007 18:29
Location: Friesland, the Netherlands

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by Martian » Thu 20 Sep 2007 21:21

Joe Ham wrote:Yep, They Walk Among Us!


And they breed.
LOL

I have noticed they also walk among us in Lymeland. As if we haven't got enough problems. :roll:

Joe Ham
Posts: 489
Joined: Fri 27 Jul 2007 6:15
Location: New Mexico, USA

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by Joe Ham » Fri 18 Jan 2008 17:19

How to Handle Stupid Questions

*...Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my pet,  Pepe the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,  I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.  Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care  ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that  it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)  


Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.  


 

User avatar
Yvonne
Posts: 2421
Joined: Fri 27 Jul 2007 16:02

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by Yvonne » Sat 19 Jan 2008 10:53

:lol: :lol:

Stupid Questions Image

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? :lol:

Email from a friend:
"CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?"


Recently while waiting in an airport terminal a group of us were watching the news about the separation of conjoined twins.

One of the airport staff came over and asked if the twins had been separated, when we replied that they had been she asked, "Both of them?"



Words Per Day
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results. It read "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000".

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said "What?"
Listen to all,
plucking a feather from every passing goose,
but follow no one absolutely

CaliforniaLyme
Posts: 519
Joined: Sun 30 Sep 2007 15:49
Contact:

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by CaliforniaLyme » Sat 19 Jan 2008 15:54

My girls and I take our pygmy goat Annie for walks all the time now, and you would NOT believe HOW many people SINCERELY ask, "Is that a goat or a sheep?"

It is SO sad!!!!

He/she is about as goatie as one can look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He even has a little goatee now!

CaliforniaLyme
Posts: 519
Joined: Sun 30 Sep 2007 15:49
Contact:

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by CaliforniaLyme » Sat 19 Jan 2008 16:08

p.s. For those people similarly impaired- (hey, maybe it's because we have SO much Lyme here*)!


GOATS (the kind my Annie is)
http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&s ... dwarf+goat

SHEEP (the kind my Annie is not)
http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&s ... en&q=sheep

minitails2
Posts: 1001
Joined: Sat 3 Nov 2007 10:27

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by minitails2 » Sun 20 Jan 2008 0:44

Actually the all time stupid question that I get, and have been getting for my whole life, is when people ask me after they've been introduced to my sister by me or someone else, if we really are sisters (apparently we just play one on TV) and then argue with us about it. It goes the other way as well. Until my sister was married about 10 years ago, we both used our very unusual last name. You'd be amazed how many times I've gone through this. One of us is adopted, people often stupidly think my sister looks more like my mom, and we never mention adoption to any of these stupid, stupid people. All the way from High school to the first two years of college, this one guy must have bothered us about this at least two times a year. I'm sure he's still a moron!

Now the one we seem to be coming across is "who's older?" That is a little rude but it goes out of the ballpark when peole start trying to guess what our age difference is. We're almost exactly one year apart and I don't really care, but my sister is sensitive about her age. I'm baby-faced so we've been bothered at length by a few people are so proud of themselves for guessing who's younger (your big sister must have... implying a big age gap) and my poor sister just feels awful. I'm always happy to say I'm older if I can get it in before the guessing game begins. I'm always tempted to say something about their manners but I don't, although I have managed to sneak things in, these people, unfortunately, don't have a clue.

This is definately rude but I think that often rudeness comes from ignorance. My family has always been open about adoption (there are four who are) and I think we helped educate many people just by being the way we were growing up but this kind of stuff never fails to suprise me. :(

Claudia
Posts: 1448
Joined: Wed 14 Nov 2007 1:19
Location: Connecticut, USA

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by Claudia » Thu 6 Mar 2008 22:44

Something that has been making me crazy lately. Need to vent.

My town has a pooper-scooper law for dogs. We also have litter laws. There is a large state owned Open Space Wildlife Conservation Area with miles of great trails in town. The vast majority of people who use these woods and bring along their dogs do not pick up the poop because most dogs discreetly go off to the sides of the trails and into the brush to do their business.

Over the last couple of months, on a regular basis, somebody has been bringing plastic bags along on their dog walks, picking up their dog's poop BUT then not wanting to carry out the bagged poop, leaving the plastic-bagged poop, neatly tied closed, in the woods along the trails.

So... instead of having poo that disappears in a few days through natural processes, we have plastic encased dog poo littering the woods that will be there a very, very long time. BRILLIANT!

It really bugged me today. More than usual. I am tired of picking it up, sometimes carrying it for miles, putting it in my car, bringing it home to toss in my garbage can. It's not even my dog's. But I can't stand seeing these brightly colored grocery store plastic poop filled sacks strewn throughout the beautiful woods.

What kind of idiot would do something so, so, so stupid? :bonk:

cave76
Posts: 3182
Joined: Sun 12 Aug 2007 2:27

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by cave76 » Fri 7 Mar 2008 0:38

Claudia-----that's so stoopid! But then you knew it. :)

My gripe, same lines sorta: When well I did a LOT of camping and fishing and preferred out of the way places, not where most people would go. Four wheel drive helped, since I never did like back packing.

But get there---- get out of the jeep and then find empty cans, bottles tossed all around!!!

The Idjits DROVE there, fer cryin' out loud! Couldnt they toss the empty beer bottles in their truck and take it back down????

I know. But it STOOPID.

Claudia
Posts: 1448
Joined: Wed 14 Nov 2007 1:19
Location: Connecticut, USA

Re: They Walk Among Us

Post by Claudia » Fri 7 Mar 2008 0:53

Cavey, seeing the bottles and cans and such in wilderness areas really bothers me too. Like you said, they drove it in -- just drive it out.

It's even worse when they not only leave things like bottles, but smash the bottles on some rocks. The broken glass is hard to see in all the leaf litter. I've heard of several people's dogs getting badly cut paws from that. Plus what disregard for all the woodland creatures. :x

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